


Time

by skysedge



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Brief appearances of others - Freeform, Introspection, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 03:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16590206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skysedge/pseuds/skysedge
Summary: The first time that Reiji thinks the words ‘Aine’ and ‘beautiful’ in the same moment he doesn’t say anything aloud.





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> So 'Fiction' is giving me Lots Of Feelings and this short fic happened out of nowhere? \\(:D)/ Oh well!

The first time that Reiji thinks the words ‘Aine’ and ‘beautiful’ in the same moment he doesn’t say anything aloud.

 It’s during a practice, he’s supposed to be giving his friend feedback on his singing, and Kei and Hibiki are _right there._ He knows what his friends are like and a comment like that would lead to hours of good natured teasing which would completely derail their work. It’s not worth the hassle, not even if Aine shines like nothing else when he’s singing, not even if there’s a depth and light to his eyes that takes Reiji’s breath away more easily than any harmony he’s ever heard. It’s not worth sharing.

Besides, Aine isn’t going anywhere. He can say it another time.

 

Reiji is the only one that cries during their graduation from the academy. He knows they all feel it, the end of an era, the start of another, and he jokes that he’ll cry enough for all of them. They take photos, head out for a party, and by the end of the night it’s only the two of them left. Aine is slouched against the wall of the karaoke booth, hair a mess and smile bright, and Reiji isn’t sure why but suddenly he feels like crying again.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, lowering his head to the table and covering his ears with his hands in case Aine is laughing. “I’m stupid.”

Aine threads a hand into his hair and his touch is warm and comforting, not ashamed in the slightest. Reiji’s hair has been getting long and he realises that now he’s probably going to keep it that way. He raises his head to find Aine laughing, the sound sharp as always but he knows it well enough to know there’s no malice there.

“What’s up? Aine asks, still stroking his hair.

“I just…”

And he doesn’t say it. It’s been a great day, one they’ll all remember, there’s no need to ruin it. He bites his tongue and Aine sits back, still smiling.

“We’re just starting, ‘Ji,” he says. “Don’t cry, okay?”

He’s right. He doesn’t need to rush. There’s still time.

 

He had always known that making his debut would make him busy but he doesn’t understand how much until three weeks solid pass without him finding time to see Aine. It’s not bad, not necessarily, being busy is what he thrives on and they’re making their dreams come true so what’s the harm? Still, his heart leaps when they cross paths in an agency corridor and Aine hands Reiji a copy of his latest interview with a wink before heading into a meeting.

He reads it as soon as he’s in the back of the car on the way to his next appointment, eagerly flipping to the right page. Idols aren’t allowed to date. Reiji gets that. He wonders why they always get interviewed about romance anyway. He’d done one of his own only recently, spun some rubbish about making all his girls happy, and it had been received so well he supposes he has to stick with it now. Aine’s interview is different. He talks about trust and friendship and laughter. He talks about long drives and karaoke dates.

The photo for the article is as far from Reiji’s own shoots as it’s possible to be. Aine looks piercing, sexy, dangerous. Reiji thinks about it all the way through his appointment with a composer, all the way home, all the way into bed.

He texts Aine before he sleeps.

_Nice job~ Hang out soon?_

The reply is instant, like he had been waiting.

_I’m glad you liked it. Let’s set a date tomorrow._

He dreams of long drives and karaoke dates. He dreams of trust.

 

Their schedules don’t align. Their schedules never align. The days slip past like sand through his fingers. Before long Aine becomes a face on television, a voice on the radio, and Reiji can’t remember how it felt to have a hand in his hair.

It’s not the same for Aine. It can’t be. He’s flying high, a rising star, how could he have any time to mourn someone like _him_? He needs to try harder, to shine brighter, and then when they stand on the same stage or in front of the same cameras he can say it once and for all.

“You’re beautiful.”

He says it to the television, to the radio, to the magazines. He practices to get it just right. There’s still no need to rush. He might be distant now but Aine’s still there, he’s just a little out of reach.

He’ll say it when he’s worthy of feeling it. There’s still time.

 

It’s not the first time he’s missed a phone call. It’s not even the first time he’s missed one from Aine. He doesn’t think too much about it, too busy, too _exhausted,_ to worry. It’s only later, when he’s home and Aine won’t answer his phone, that he wonders if maybe this time is different.

Surely not, right? Life keeps rolling on, just like always. He’ll sort it out soon.

There’s still-

 

_Time stops moving from the moment he realises Aine is never going to answer his calls. He tries and tries, he runs to his house in the rain, he calls from every public phone on the street just in case it makes a difference. Days turn to weeks turn to months and it doesn’t matter if Kei and Hibiki hate him now, it doesn’t matter that he’s letting his career crash and burn, nothing matters because it’s his fault it’s all his damn fault for taking an angel for granted and he deserves to disappear as well but he can’t it’s like he’s frozen in-_

Time for a fresh start, a new project, lined up before Shining Saotome with the three strangest people he’s ever met. Ranmaru is loud but makes him laugh. Camus is cold but charismatic. And Ai…

Looking at Ai is like being punched in the throat. For hours he can’t meet his eyes. He’s the same, every last detail, if Reiji were to grab the ties and clips from his hair then there would be no telling them apart.

Reiji laughs and jokes even as his insides twists and bleed until the meeting is over and he can be alone. He keeps up appearances. He has to. Because it _can’t_ be Aine, he wouldn’t be so _cruel,_ Reji has to be seeing things that aren’t there, hearing a voice that no longer speaks for him.

His phone rings and he almost screams at the suddenness of it. But it’s not who he wants it to be, he’s long since changed his number, and so he laughs and jokes his way through a conference call with his new groupmates like it’s nothing.

Lying, it seems, has become his specialty. Maybe it’s all he has left.

Ai is the last to say goodnight and the lack of emotion in his voice is uncanny. As soon as the call is over, Reiji takes an old phone from a locked drawer and powers it up. He dials his voicemail, the numbers on the old keypad worn.

_“Reiji. I need to talk to you. Please pick up.”_

“I would if I could,” he says to the sound of static. “Please call back.”

And he still doesn’t say it. He’ll put the feeling into song, into dance, into lies, he’ll express it in every way he can except the words themselves. Maybe his feelings will reach wherever Aine has gone. Maybe he’ll be able to say it one day, the only truth he still holds onto.

There’s still time. There has to be time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sad Reiji is the best Reiji. Fight me.


End file.
